2018; disappointed and also surpised

2018; disappointed and also surprised

Hello!

Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I did fail to continue blogmas which I am extremely sorry about. I wasn’t home a lot during that period thus making it hard for me to upload. But 2018 has now ended and I’m here to talk about that year one last time (and hopefully not look back at it too much). Let’s start…

If I had to describe 2018 in one word then this was definitely an odd year. I don’t know what it was that happened or did not happen but this year was just odd.

Another way for me to describe 2018 is to deem it as ‘an year of failures’. I had to undergo so many things which ended up not going the way they should’ve gone about. There was so much disappointment around me, because of me and I could feel it. Overall, I’m keeping an optimistic approach (at least trying) towards what happened this year. So, in lieu of that, I realised that I always have another chance to better what went wrong. I can only go up from the absolute bottom. So here’s to me successfully achieving things in 2019.

2018 was also that year wherein I completed less things and left most unfinished. I couldn’t live upto my commitments towards writing. I didn’t complete a lot of my school work until the very end and didn’t completely study for any of my tests (not studying one or more chapters before the test basically). This is also the reason why I didn’t read too many books this year- I just couldn’t get myself to finish certain books and not because they were bad but because I lacked overall motivation to do anything. And this makes me sad because I love books and I wish I could’ve read more. I was so excited for all the books that were being released this past year.

And about school- it was beyond horrible because I couldn’t score as well as I should’ve and I accepted for the first time that whatever I was doing was far from enough.

I also became more antisocial (as if that was possible).

2018 had an incredible set of album releases and I completely cherished them all. I loved Youngblood, ABIIOR was SO GOOD (I know I’m late but would you still like me to do an album review?), Bloom was incredibe and Trench was a great album too. But I’ve had this certain disconnect with music this past year and I’ve spent the entirity of it listening to the same ten artists and not bothering to get to know any new ones. Once again, lack of motivation. Lack of motivation- a perfect segway to the part where I talk about my mental health. I was in such a weird place mentally. I withheld myself from indulging in so many things- things which should’ve been at the top of my priority list. I was overwhelmed a lot. I was sad a lot. I was sulky and grumpy. I did cry a fair amount. And the year felt so goddamn long.

On the bright side, I started wearng more colour which was one of the only things I really wanted to do in 2018- to get out of my monochrome-y wadrobe. This year was also filled with wonderful trips I went to from my school. I made new friends, new memories and I learnt a lot of things. I also volunteered for social work for the first time this year which has since been never ending. I should just say that the feeling of working so insanely hard for something and having others appreciate that is the best, and that is my social work journey, 2018 in a nutshell.

I’m grateful for my friends, my family, all the readers and random people who I find cute sometimes. I’m also grateful for coffee.

Here’s to 2019.
Here’s to us.

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