unicorns; conspiracy theories

unicorns

Think about it: there are things in this universe that exist and yet, all we know of their existence is that it’s all a big myth. Aliens might exist, God might not even be watching us at all times, Big Foot might be real, werewolves, vampires, unicorns…. wait, what if unicorns really do exist? *gasp*

Well I have a theory which might boggle your mind a bit or blow you away. (kidding, it’s not even that convincing. I’m no Shane Dawson.)

(Please read till the end. I worked hard on thinking these things up and I hope you are slightly convinced after reading my ramblings. Also, these are all for fun, might be a little ridiculous at times. Hope you enjoy!)(This is also me being a low-key internet kid. Well, I am for the most part but you get me, don’t you?)

THEORY 1.

Unicorns are real. You might have heard this quite a few times: unicorns poop rainbows and pee glitter. Glitter is made from plastic which is made from certain materials extracted from the ground. Now if it is possible that unicorns exist then they 100% live underground which also explains why we never see them for they are protecting their ever-so-famous horn. The fact that they live underground can also be justified by quoting a part of a theory by a philosopher : “unicorns are creatures who spend time in mud and slime”. They pee glitter underground which turns into a more liquid-y form due to excess of heat; the glitter might lose its shine but there’s a reason why black gold is also found underground .(I am convinced).

As for pooping rainbows: we know that a rainbow is created when sunlight and water come together but do we know the origin of a rainbow? No. So it explains that these “mythical” creatures have a way of defying gravity and having their feces go against it. Now how is gravity defied? We don’t know, just like the real form of the Almighty himself. Some things are better left unexplained. One more theory that explains if unicorns really do poop rainbows is that two people never see the same rainbow. Doesn’t it explain that there are not only one but many unicorns, protecting their identity from the beasts unknown to them? Think about it…

***

THEORY 2

Fidget Spinners are illuminati as f**k. Period.

Everyone: So what special knowledge do they possess?

Me: Are you kidding? Everything.  My theory says that this the “real” illuminati’s not-so-indirect validation. Are you shook?

***

THEORY 3

I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of the game domino? My theory is that domino and dice are more related than you think they are. What if dices also have hell and heaven and if they’ve been a good dice they reincarnate as a new dice but if they’ve been bad, then they are sent to hell aka they are made into these ridiculous looking blocks. And only a part of their former existence (a dice) remains in the form of the dots on them? Think about it…

***

I think three are enough to make half of you think how hopeless I am. I’m sorry, I understand. (*gets up and leaves*) This post is inspired by Shane Dawson, of course and I’m sorry if I don’t do justice to his way of presenting theories. I just wanted to try something new so, do let me know what you think about these. They’re all pretty light hearted and I hope I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself. *contemplates life*I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Until next time…

Me xx

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