I am an antisocial, awkward person

I am an antisocial, awkward person; At least I like to think that way. I remember being this very bubbly, happy girl who would literally talk to anyone and everyone. I would go talk to the new students and would immediately want to be friends with them. Also, I was really loud. I loved my friends to the core, but that was first grade I’m talking about. My parents decided to change my school when I was in grade two and I mean I was okay with that because that meant I would get a ten day extended summer break. Way to go me. *gets up and leaves*

So since then I’ve tried to blend in into this environment which is so much more different than my last school. You know, I actually never understood how to be a person that everyone else thought was acceptable. (I guess?) I was always the weird one- someone who did weird shit and was loud and apparently not trust worthy at all. In simpler words, I guess I was just very obnoxious. And believe me when I say this because I’ve heard my friends (at that time) say the exact same. *Fake gasp*

But because I’m not here to throw a pity party for myself and drag everyone into it to feel bad for me, I want to share something on friendships.

You know that place you go for gaining knowledge and giving memory tests? Yeah, school. I would want to say they give us great friendships, some which we even cherish for our whole lives. In my school, we were given different classes every year till grade five because it apparently​ helped build up our “social skills”. My school believed that making new friends every year was great and I don’t disagree​, but I think they forget to tell us that those friends leave too. Every year, when I’d find myself in a new class, my friends from my old class would hardly meet me. There were no real friends back then and I often do ponder upon the thought of it still being a possibility.

You know I love the feeling of having a best friend. Lol who am I kidding, who doesn’t? You have this wonderful person to make memories with and share your highest highs and lowest lows with and just be yourself around them. It just isn’t a best friend but close friendships, I value them too. That’s what school teaches you- to make great friends and stick with them. But then they leave. Love, relationships: they hurt, but doesn’t a friend leaving too? And schools don’t teach us how to deal with them; why?


12 thoughts on “I am an antisocial, awkward person

  1. I might be crying. I relate to this so much, especially with me moving schools next year and leaving my closest friends behind. It’ll hurt when we grow apart, and to an extent, I know we will, but I’m not going to be that ass that just stops contact. I guess we can try our hardest to hold on to the memory of friendship.

    xoxo, Rawan M from RMAI

    Liked by 2 people

  2. theiridescentworldofindy

    If you move schools and your friends don’t keep in touch were they really that good of friends anyway? I moved schools about 2 years ago, and I still talk to and hang out with heaps of my old friends even though I literally moved cities! …and making new friends can be really hard. I struggled a lot! But I eventually made some friends. And once you settle in, if you find a group that you fit into more, you can always move?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I understand what you’re saying. I literally moved schools in 2nd grade so I don’t really expect them to still be in contact with me. But I mean it’s sometimes funny how we think that someone is our really good friend but then they just leave to be friends with someone else, almost as if you weren’t good enough? But hey! Your friends sound cool. People don’t usually keep in contact!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. theiridescentworldofindy

        I think it’s probably way easy to keep in contact with social media and stuff these days! So that’s definitely a plus for technology!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Dude I love how meaningful your posts are, they really make me think and I respect you for that. I agree that school is amazing for putting you in situations where you can make friends easily, and I suppose they leave the rest to you. Losing friends is hard but it’s a two way situation. I empathize with these feelings of hurt that come with the loss, but ultimately it ends up to be the best. The friends I’ve lost, I’m happy to lose (not at the time, but in the long shot). Maybe school doesn’t teach you this because it’s something you have to go through on your own. Just a thought(:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you honestly! Yes I do agree that it’s mostly self discovery but I kind of am a little mad at the fact that they think we can handle EVERYTHING, like a superhuman. Like jeez, give us room to breathe. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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