(picture credits go to the rightful owner)
And even though I wanted to stop myself from posting this post today and schedule it for the next week, I couldn’t wait, for this book made me cry, laugh, smile all at the same time.
Note To Self: a book by a beautiful precious bean, Connor Franta.
I can’t begin to explain how amazing I feel after reading this book. Connor has always inspired me to do something interesting, something thrilling all the time. He’s taught me to be ambitious and always think big. And he’s one of the reasons I fell in love with YouTube. I am so thankful to him for this book and so proud for what has come through in the process of writing it for 18 months. I love and adore him with all my heart.
Let me tell you how aesthetically pleasing this book was: VERY, take my word for it; it pleased me right from it’s cover to the beautifully sequenced words on the inside to the too-pretty-for-the-eye pictures.
As I write this, I’m not sure what the sequence of the paragraphs will be. I don’t know what will come after what because I’m so overwhelmed with emotions, with happiness. I don’t think I’ve felt this happy in a long time now and I hope you understand it isn’t the ‘I-am-a-teenger-and-bound-to-be-stressed’ kind of transition into happiness, it’s something else.
As I said earlier how unable I was to describe how I felt for this book, but would I really be doing justice by rating someone’s thoughts? I almost feel selfish now, like a beast with no emotions because I can’t rate someone on their thoughts. It’s all THEIRS.
There were parts in the book that made me question myself- for the good. There were pages that made me analyze my situation, that made me (over)think my position. And I wouldn’t say it was for the bad, for I know this is necessary and I’ve been avoiding it for the longest I can remember.
It’s crazy how humans want to throw their thoughts in the trashcan of their brain when those thoughts are the ones that need their attention. It’s crazy how I never ever thought about my happiness on a kind of level that I am thinking now.
It scares me a little (a lot maybe), the way Connor described it, how less control I have in this world. How I can’t control myself and my situations, let alone the happenings in the world, let alone the disasters that take place on a daily basis; I can’t control the cacophony of the busy streets and I most definitely won’t be able to control the catastrophe that’s approaching us, at a fast or slow pace.
On a side note: I wish that you’re happy with who you are. And I hope your journey to self discovery gives you moments that you’ll always reminisce.
I would like to share a few of my favourite set of words and poems form the book (RECOMMENDED 20/10).
“when I lie awake
long enough for the clock
to tick over to a new day
my heart beats faster
as I begin to question
what brings worth to living
the scariest moment comes
when my eyes remain open
through an hour
empty of answers”
(I had goosebumps after reading this and I don’t know how much you’ll think after reading this but I had to close the book to breathe.)
“When I lost myself in the moment, time lost itself to my joy.”
(If this doesn’t describe how I feel right now…)
“Be in touch with reality but always allow yourself to fall into fantasy.”
I’m sorry if this is all over the place, consider this as another too informal post and let it slide. I’m engulfed in a kind of feeling that I can’t begin to explain and it makes me feel like I could read this book any number of times (no click bait). I apologize for the mediocre way of expression but the content in the book is high quality. I hope you have a great day beautiful people!